check it out our google latitudes are spooning
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
