Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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