I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
