i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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