I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
i've created a new STD.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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