Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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