I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
