Sponge bath it is.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
