I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
