Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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