where am i from again
now i know why i became what i already was.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
