he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
