so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
