Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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