I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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