I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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