omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
