remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
