I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i wish my penis had a tongue
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
