In the future we'll all be gay
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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