..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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