Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
