It's Friday. Sex?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
