I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
