Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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