Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
