i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
