he shaved USA in his pubs
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
