I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
