i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
