TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
My life is pants optional.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
