i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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