You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
