Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
