YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
