My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
