8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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