dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
wanna go halves on a baby?
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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