She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
