"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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