Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
