Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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