i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
