i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
