Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
