I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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