dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
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