It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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