i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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