Where is the hickey?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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